A couple of posts ago I mentioned the dream I had to write books and speak. I love God's word. I love God's truth. Every time I learn something new I want to immediately share it with others. I believe I am a teacher at heart. Homeschooling my children gives me such joy because I get the opportunity to teach daily. Also, good teachers are eager learner. I adore learning. I read constantly, relish the information found in my children's textbooks, watch informational programs, and listen to teaching on the radio. Thus, my heart longs to teach in a way that will encourage others to know God more intimately and to walk in a way that is pleasing to Him.
Writing brings me great joy. I have written varying things since I was in my early teens. After writing my first book I paused to ask God if this was His desire for my life. That day the reading in my Bible was for Job 19:23. It said, "Oh, that my words were written! Oh, that they were inscribed in a book!" I was elated. I felt I had my answer. God verified that I was to write.
There was one small problem, though, I had a lot to learn from the Master. To learn this would walk through a dry and lonely desert. Just He and I. He would chip from me some really ugly personality flaws. He would heal some deep hurts. He would prepare me according to His will and His time.
I've written a few books. I have even sent them to publishers but have been rejected. The things I have written have been so important to me. I just knew others would find help and hope in them. I wrote these books several years ago. The past three years, however, I haven't written much at all. This season of desert walking brought much grief as I have felt my dream to write had died.
I became frustrated with God. I looked at other women who were doing the very things I desired to do. Why couldn't I do that? Was I not good enough? I just didn't understand. Then, God showed me something more. For our dreams to become His, they must die. Just as when a seed drops to the earth, it must die before I can begin to grow. As long as the dream to write and speak is of my making, it could only go where this woman could take it. But when I allow it to die to Him, it will go where He wants to take it. And that is much greater than anything I can imagine. I believe this desire is God given. Now I want it to be God driven. In the years to come I want to cooperate with Him as He works in my life to make me an instrument prepared for this work. And, in the end, it will not be for my glory, but for His glory.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Climbing to Mountain Tops
So, I am sitting here at the computer with a slew of thoughts not quite sure what I am to write. I guess I can tell you about some neat stuff happening in my house right now.
It's 12:30 am (yes, I said a.m.) and my house is still hopping with activity. At the present time there are eight (yes, I said eight) kids running around. Two of our favorite people are here visiting as they look at attending college here in Tuscaloosa.
We met them during Hurricane Katrina. They are Justin and Jessica. Twins!! They had left New Orleans seeking refuge wherever they could find a vacant motel. God led them here to Tuscaloosa, and I am so glad He did. During the two years they spent here, they attended our church. My oldest son became friends with them, hanging out with them in youth. When they moved back to New Orleans, my son kept in touch with them. It wasn't long after they moved that Brennon, my son, invited them to visit. That's when they became an official part of the "Dent" family. We fell in love with them, each day enjoying the joy and laughter they brought into our home.
Over the past three years they have come to stay with us during vacations and school breaks. Our bonds have grown deeper. During Hurricane Gustav their whole family came to stay for a week. When I say the whole family I mean everyone - mom, dad, cats, dogs, chickens, rabbits, everyone!
Sadly, last year, their mother became very sick. Justin and talked on the phone daily as her health declined. One evening Justin called to say the doctors had informed them that she was dying. My children and I hopped in the car a began the drive to New Orleans. Before we reached Louisiana, Justin called to let us know that she had passed away. When we arrived at their house the kids and their father were gathered on the bed mourning the loss of their mom.
We stayed a few of days and mourned with them. We attended the funeral and had to leave for home the next day. It was so hard leaving them behind. I worried about them. I prayed for them. God saw them through.
Jump forward a year and two months to today. Here they are in my home again. It feels so right to have them wandering through the house. They want to attend school here, and I think it is a great idea! My family also hopes they will come to Tuscaloosa. (They seem to think they will.) They would live with us for a while. We would love it!
I have always wanted a large family. After my fourth child my husband decided our family was large enough. Of course, I disagreed. However, he put an end to any future pregnancies. This was painful for me. I love being a mother. I felt he had ripped something precious from me. I mourned deeply for the loss of ever carrying another child. However, I had to believe God knows my heart and placed the love of motherhood in my heart.
Nine years later my niece came to live with us. She is only four days older than my youngest child. We love her so much, and she fits perfectly into our family. Her adoption was finalized September seventh of this year. Funny, I always wanted twins but was never blessed to give birth to twins. However, I have my twins in my youngest son and my niece. People will ask how old they are. When I tell them the children are the same age they ask, "Twins?" I smile and say, "No". Usually I explain, but sometimes it is fun to watch them try to figure it out.
Now we are welcoming two more children into our home, Justin and Jessica. Twins! Next year we will have seven kids filling these four walls. (All of them will be teenagers!) A large family? I think so. And this is the kind of family only God can put together. He knew my desire and fulfilled it in a way I could never have imagined.
As I watch my dream of being a writer and speaker seem to crumble I must take pause to ponder what God has done. He knows the desire of my heart. I believe He will fulfill this desire as well. I can't imagine what creative way He will bring it about, but I know it will be amazing!
It's 12:30 am (yes, I said a.m.) and my house is still hopping with activity. At the present time there are eight (yes, I said eight) kids running around. Two of our favorite people are here visiting as they look at attending college here in Tuscaloosa.
We met them during Hurricane Katrina. They are Justin and Jessica. Twins!! They had left New Orleans seeking refuge wherever they could find a vacant motel. God led them here to Tuscaloosa, and I am so glad He did. During the two years they spent here, they attended our church. My oldest son became friends with them, hanging out with them in youth. When they moved back to New Orleans, my son kept in touch with them. It wasn't long after they moved that Brennon, my son, invited them to visit. That's when they became an official part of the "Dent" family. We fell in love with them, each day enjoying the joy and laughter they brought into our home.
Over the past three years they have come to stay with us during vacations and school breaks. Our bonds have grown deeper. During Hurricane Gustav their whole family came to stay for a week. When I say the whole family I mean everyone - mom, dad, cats, dogs, chickens, rabbits, everyone!
Sadly, last year, their mother became very sick. Justin and talked on the phone daily as her health declined. One evening Justin called to say the doctors had informed them that she was dying. My children and I hopped in the car a began the drive to New Orleans. Before we reached Louisiana, Justin called to let us know that she had passed away. When we arrived at their house the kids and their father were gathered on the bed mourning the loss of their mom.
We stayed a few of days and mourned with them. We attended the funeral and had to leave for home the next day. It was so hard leaving them behind. I worried about them. I prayed for them. God saw them through.
Jump forward a year and two months to today. Here they are in my home again. It feels so right to have them wandering through the house. They want to attend school here, and I think it is a great idea! My family also hopes they will come to Tuscaloosa. (They seem to think they will.) They would live with us for a while. We would love it!
I have always wanted a large family. After my fourth child my husband decided our family was large enough. Of course, I disagreed. However, he put an end to any future pregnancies. This was painful for me. I love being a mother. I felt he had ripped something precious from me. I mourned deeply for the loss of ever carrying another child. However, I had to believe God knows my heart and placed the love of motherhood in my heart.
Nine years later my niece came to live with us. She is only four days older than my youngest child. We love her so much, and she fits perfectly into our family. Her adoption was finalized September seventh of this year. Funny, I always wanted twins but was never blessed to give birth to twins. However, I have my twins in my youngest son and my niece. People will ask how old they are. When I tell them the children are the same age they ask, "Twins?" I smile and say, "No". Usually I explain, but sometimes it is fun to watch them try to figure it out.
Now we are welcoming two more children into our home, Justin and Jessica. Twins! Next year we will have seven kids filling these four walls. (All of them will be teenagers!) A large family? I think so. And this is the kind of family only God can put together. He knew my desire and fulfilled it in a way I could never have imagined.
As I watch my dream of being a writer and speaker seem to crumble I must take pause to ponder what God has done. He knows the desire of my heart. I believe He will fulfill this desire as well. I can't imagine what creative way He will bring it about, but I know it will be amazing!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Bumps and Bruises
It seems that every time I meditate on my relationship with God and His relationship to me I come back to the Potter and the clay analogy. The one in Isaiah 64:8 that says, "We are the clay, and You our potter, and we are all the work of Your hand." Wow, I am the work of His hand. You, friend, are the work of God's hand.
For the first several years of my life I was the lump clay who sought to mold myself into something I thought I wanted to be. I worked hard to become someone special. I tried to be everything I believed would make me happy, that would make me accepted. And after years of making, molding, pressing, and striving I still felt empty and useless.
You see, God is the potter, not me. He is the One who shapes me through life experiences, through His word, the input of others, education, family situations, and my distinct personality making me a vessel perfect for His use. All too often, though, I would not cooperate. All too often I, as the clay, had disliked what God was doing in my life and how He was doing it. I resisted and refused to be molded by the hand of my great Creator. I hardened myself to His prompting and became frustrated with what God was seeking to do in and with my life. "Will the thing formed say to Him who formed it, Why have You made me like this?" (Romans 9:20)
I've asked it. Frustrated with my frailties and insecurities I have shaken my fist before the Lord and asked, "Why did you make me like this? I hate who I am." Have you ever been there? Exhausted in trying to be something or someone you are not, have you looked to Heaven and questioned God's judgement in making you the way you are? Be honest. I know I don't stand alone in this. "Why? Why can't I be like him or her? Why can't I have their looks, money, talent? Why am I simply me?"
The Potter, however, is not finished. He waits for us to tire of our striving until we come to the point where we simply still ourselves before Him and allow Him to make us. I'm here. I'm on the Potter's wheel and His hands are gently forming me. After years of resisting, I find that allowing Him to mold me is not as hard as I feared. I'm actually finding peace in it. I can see this vessel taking shape. The vessel that is forming is not what I had envisioned for myself, but I see that it is a vessel of honor as it is for the King's use.
I'm amazed to realize, too, that God is using all of my past attempts to mold myself to build this vessel. Lessons I have learned, pains I have endured, none of it is going to waste. He's using all of me. What will the final piece look like? What exactly will it be used for? I can't say. I have certain dreams that I think He will incorporate into this work. I hope He will. I believe He has placed these dreams within this vessel so that He can fulfill them. Then I fear. What if it's not at all what I had hoped? Hope and fear, side by side. Joy and frustration each vying for a place in my heart. The struggle continues, but the work doesn't stop. The Potter tirelessly labors to pound this clay into something beautiful. And you, He pounds away making you as well.
For the first several years of my life I was the lump clay who sought to mold myself into something I thought I wanted to be. I worked hard to become someone special. I tried to be everything I believed would make me happy, that would make me accepted. And after years of making, molding, pressing, and striving I still felt empty and useless.
You see, God is the potter, not me. He is the One who shapes me through life experiences, through His word, the input of others, education, family situations, and my distinct personality making me a vessel perfect for His use. All too often, though, I would not cooperate. All too often I, as the clay, had disliked what God was doing in my life and how He was doing it. I resisted and refused to be molded by the hand of my great Creator. I hardened myself to His prompting and became frustrated with what God was seeking to do in and with my life. "Will the thing formed say to Him who formed it, Why have You made me like this?" (Romans 9:20)
I've asked it. Frustrated with my frailties and insecurities I have shaken my fist before the Lord and asked, "Why did you make me like this? I hate who I am." Have you ever been there? Exhausted in trying to be something or someone you are not, have you looked to Heaven and questioned God's judgement in making you the way you are? Be honest. I know I don't stand alone in this. "Why? Why can't I be like him or her? Why can't I have their looks, money, talent? Why am I simply me?"
The Potter, however, is not finished. He waits for us to tire of our striving until we come to the point where we simply still ourselves before Him and allow Him to make us. I'm here. I'm on the Potter's wheel and His hands are gently forming me. After years of resisting, I find that allowing Him to mold me is not as hard as I feared. I'm actually finding peace in it. I can see this vessel taking shape. The vessel that is forming is not what I had envisioned for myself, but I see that it is a vessel of honor as it is for the King's use.
I'm amazed to realize, too, that God is using all of my past attempts to mold myself to build this vessel. Lessons I have learned, pains I have endured, none of it is going to waste. He's using all of me. What will the final piece look like? What exactly will it be used for? I can't say. I have certain dreams that I think He will incorporate into this work. I hope He will. I believe He has placed these dreams within this vessel so that He can fulfill them. Then I fear. What if it's not at all what I had hoped? Hope and fear, side by side. Joy and frustration each vying for a place in my heart. The struggle continues, but the work doesn't stop. The Potter tirelessly labors to pound this clay into something beautiful. And you, He pounds away making you as well.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Stumbling Through Trust
After posting last night's blog I began to feel a little uncomfortable. Am I sharing too much? What will readers think of me? Will I be judged for not being spiritual enough? I don't like for people to look down on me. I hate it when people judge me. I'm sure you feel the same way. People are hard to trust. This issue has been at the core of my thoughts and frustrations for quite some time.
I used to be a very trusting person. I thought nothing of sharing my heart with someone after knowing them for a very short time. I always felt it endeared me to their hearts and allowed them to open up without fear feeling safe in being my friend. I was, what some have called, transparent. However, about ten years ago I found that my transparency gave others the ammo they needed to judge and talk about me. People I trusted. People I loved. I began to consider the fact that transparency may not be a positive quality.
My personality, however, would not allow me to close people off. If you put me with someone, I would without hesitation begin to open up to them. Sometimes I would leave these encounters feeling insecure and frustrated with myself. How could I allow someone to know me so quickly? That is wreckless behavior, and it places my heart at risk. Do I want to walk through that valley again?
I know people who have built walls of protection around their lives and their feelings. You can't break in and really get to know them. No matter how long you have been a part of their lives, they still hold you at arms length. I'm afraid I am becoming that way. It's not something I want or seek to do. I can't afford transparency anymore, though. It hurts. And the sad thing is, Christians are as hurtful as nonbelievers. No, Christians have the ability to hurt another more because they are expected love, be patience, show forgiveness, even extend mercy. My heart still grieves the wounds I carry from some Christians.
Now before you write to tell me how unholy this attitude is, let me tell you that I am well aware of this. Before you write me off as a bitter soul, let me tell you that it is not bitterness I feel. It's sadness. Sadness for the Body of Christ. Sadness that we as the family of God hurt one another and never make ammends. When my children say hurtful things to and about each other my own heart breaks. I don't want ill feelings between them. How much more does the heart of God grieve at the division among His children? Wouldn't you assume that God has a deep desire to see unity within His own family?
Now I know that I am not perfect. I know I have done my share of hurting others. My mouth can quickly condemn another before I even think they situation through. At times I think myself better than others and act in a way that lets them know what I am thinking. I have made others ache because of my rash behavior. For all these I am deeply sorry. Sorry for hurting another human being, and even more sorry for breaking the heart of my Father. I have sought to apologize to those I have offended. If I have hurt you and not made it right, let me know. I want to seek your forgiveness and the forgiveness of Christ Jesus.
So, where does that leave me now? I'm scared to death to trust. I can't say I feel totally comfortable being myself with anyone. I hope in the days to come God will heal this broken heart and lead me to a point of security. Not security in the opinions of men, but in His love for me. I want to once again be a transparent, trusting person. However, this time around my trust will be in Him, and what people say about me will not move me or cause me to re-erect walls. I will live for the sole pleasure of my God and King letting everything fade into the background of His amazing grace.
I used to be a very trusting person. I thought nothing of sharing my heart with someone after knowing them for a very short time. I always felt it endeared me to their hearts and allowed them to open up without fear feeling safe in being my friend. I was, what some have called, transparent. However, about ten years ago I found that my transparency gave others the ammo they needed to judge and talk about me. People I trusted. People I loved. I began to consider the fact that transparency may not be a positive quality.
My personality, however, would not allow me to close people off. If you put me with someone, I would without hesitation begin to open up to them. Sometimes I would leave these encounters feeling insecure and frustrated with myself. How could I allow someone to know me so quickly? That is wreckless behavior, and it places my heart at risk. Do I want to walk through that valley again?
I know people who have built walls of protection around their lives and their feelings. You can't break in and really get to know them. No matter how long you have been a part of their lives, they still hold you at arms length. I'm afraid I am becoming that way. It's not something I want or seek to do. I can't afford transparency anymore, though. It hurts. And the sad thing is, Christians are as hurtful as nonbelievers. No, Christians have the ability to hurt another more because they are expected love, be patience, show forgiveness, even extend mercy. My heart still grieves the wounds I carry from some Christians.
Now before you write to tell me how unholy this attitude is, let me tell you that I am well aware of this. Before you write me off as a bitter soul, let me tell you that it is not bitterness I feel. It's sadness. Sadness for the Body of Christ. Sadness that we as the family of God hurt one another and never make ammends. When my children say hurtful things to and about each other my own heart breaks. I don't want ill feelings between them. How much more does the heart of God grieve at the division among His children? Wouldn't you assume that God has a deep desire to see unity within His own family?
Now I know that I am not perfect. I know I have done my share of hurting others. My mouth can quickly condemn another before I even think they situation through. At times I think myself better than others and act in a way that lets them know what I am thinking. I have made others ache because of my rash behavior. For all these I am deeply sorry. Sorry for hurting another human being, and even more sorry for breaking the heart of my Father. I have sought to apologize to those I have offended. If I have hurt you and not made it right, let me know. I want to seek your forgiveness and the forgiveness of Christ Jesus.
So, where does that leave me now? I'm scared to death to trust. I can't say I feel totally comfortable being myself with anyone. I hope in the days to come God will heal this broken heart and lead me to a point of security. Not security in the opinions of men, but in His love for me. I want to once again be a transparent, trusting person. However, this time around my trust will be in Him, and what people say about me will not move me or cause me to re-erect walls. I will live for the sole pleasure of my God and King letting everything fade into the background of His amazing grace.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Journey
Why am I Writing This?
I am not quite sure why I now feel the push to write. I believe it is His Spirit that is prompting me to share my heart with whoever reads my blogs. The purpose? Probably to organize the many thoughts running through my head. Perhaps it is also to encourage someone else. However, the purpose is not the point. Obedience is. So, today I am starting a daily blog as an offering to my Lord Jesus Christ in obedience to what I believe He is asking me to do. How long will I do this? I don't know. I'll continue to write daily until the Lord says I am done. Sound crazy? Yeah, it does to me too. Well, here we go.
Day One - Let the Journey Begin
Is your mind ever a jumbled mess of feelings, ideas, convictions, fears, hopes, and facts? That's how my mind is right now. It's almost as if I cannot create a complete thought in my head because so much is jumbled together. Perhaps I can focus on one thing and hope as I type that the idea will be completed through all the other stuff.
I used to dream big. My name, Valerie, means "of determined purpose" and by golly, I have spent my life trying to find a purpose. I want to be something, do something. I want my life to be poured out with great meaning. I want to touch lives and point people to truth. It's not a bad desire. So, why when I dream the big dreams people say I should dream, do I feel like there is no way it will come to fruition? I used to believe. Now I've become skeptical.
The disappointments of life have taken their toll on my heart. I'm afraid to love, to trust, to dream. Fearing furthur disappointments I have shelved all my emotions and hopes. Maybe when one refuses to feel, they won't get hurt. No, this is an impossibility. As a person made in the image of God, especially as a woman, it is not possible to avoid feeling. I was made to feel. I can't avoid my emotions any more than I can avoid drinking water to stay alive. I have to feel! How then do I deal with these feelings?
The other night I laid in bed watching television with my family. During the commercials we would talk and laugh. When the show started again we all got quiet. It was not a sad show. However, laying there with my family a slew of emotions bombarded my mind. I began to cry. I was happy, sad, frustrated, hopeful. I couldn't contain the emotions, but I had to. My family would think I was crazy! I forced back the tears fearing that if I let one tear drop, I would fall completely apart. Something is brewing deep within me and somehow it can and will make its way to my consciousness.
I believe it is something of God. I believe God is trying to get me to deal with many things that have happened over the years. He wants me to let go, to hold tight, to laugh, to cry, to forgive, and finally to move on. I've tried for years to deal with issues. However, the fear and reality of other's responses have pretty much kept me silent. I don't want a confrontation. I don't want to know that for some things poepol will never apologize or make restitution. I don't want to come to the conclusion that I have no right to feel the way I do. If I ignore it, I won't have to face these negative realities. They'll lie buried, ignored. God doesn't want this. For such feelings and fears are cancers that destroy the soul. As with a tumor, God desires to cut this disease out of my heart. He wants total healing. And yes, as with cancer, healing often comes after a season of operations and therapies. Healing often requires hurt. This is definitely not something I want to jump up and down about! But it is the beautiful work our God seeks to do in all His children.
Perhaps then these next few days, weeks, or years (only God knows) will be a journey you can walk with me as the Great Healer restores His broken daughter. I'm afraid. I'm not looking forward to the tears and fears. But I know He walks with me. He wouldn't call me to do anything He didn't think was necessary for my good. Do I trust Him? He is the only one I do trust. Let's start the journey, God. I am willing to go wherever You lead.
See you tomorrow, friend. And remember, pray for me as I pray for my readers. God bless you!
I am not quite sure why I now feel the push to write. I believe it is His Spirit that is prompting me to share my heart with whoever reads my blogs. The purpose? Probably to organize the many thoughts running through my head. Perhaps it is also to encourage someone else. However, the purpose is not the point. Obedience is. So, today I am starting a daily blog as an offering to my Lord Jesus Christ in obedience to what I believe He is asking me to do. How long will I do this? I don't know. I'll continue to write daily until the Lord says I am done. Sound crazy? Yeah, it does to me too. Well, here we go.
Day One - Let the Journey Begin
Is your mind ever a jumbled mess of feelings, ideas, convictions, fears, hopes, and facts? That's how my mind is right now. It's almost as if I cannot create a complete thought in my head because so much is jumbled together. Perhaps I can focus on one thing and hope as I type that the idea will be completed through all the other stuff.
I used to dream big. My name, Valerie, means "of determined purpose" and by golly, I have spent my life trying to find a purpose. I want to be something, do something. I want my life to be poured out with great meaning. I want to touch lives and point people to truth. It's not a bad desire. So, why when I dream the big dreams people say I should dream, do I feel like there is no way it will come to fruition? I used to believe. Now I've become skeptical.
The disappointments of life have taken their toll on my heart. I'm afraid to love, to trust, to dream. Fearing furthur disappointments I have shelved all my emotions and hopes. Maybe when one refuses to feel, they won't get hurt. No, this is an impossibility. As a person made in the image of God, especially as a woman, it is not possible to avoid feeling. I was made to feel. I can't avoid my emotions any more than I can avoid drinking water to stay alive. I have to feel! How then do I deal with these feelings?
The other night I laid in bed watching television with my family. During the commercials we would talk and laugh. When the show started again we all got quiet. It was not a sad show. However, laying there with my family a slew of emotions bombarded my mind. I began to cry. I was happy, sad, frustrated, hopeful. I couldn't contain the emotions, but I had to. My family would think I was crazy! I forced back the tears fearing that if I let one tear drop, I would fall completely apart. Something is brewing deep within me and somehow it can and will make its way to my consciousness.
I believe it is something of God. I believe God is trying to get me to deal with many things that have happened over the years. He wants me to let go, to hold tight, to laugh, to cry, to forgive, and finally to move on. I've tried for years to deal with issues. However, the fear and reality of other's responses have pretty much kept me silent. I don't want a confrontation. I don't want to know that for some things poepol will never apologize or make restitution. I don't want to come to the conclusion that I have no right to feel the way I do. If I ignore it, I won't have to face these negative realities. They'll lie buried, ignored. God doesn't want this. For such feelings and fears are cancers that destroy the soul. As with a tumor, God desires to cut this disease out of my heart. He wants total healing. And yes, as with cancer, healing often comes after a season of operations and therapies. Healing often requires hurt. This is definitely not something I want to jump up and down about! But it is the beautiful work our God seeks to do in all His children.
Perhaps then these next few days, weeks, or years (only God knows) will be a journey you can walk with me as the Great Healer restores His broken daughter. I'm afraid. I'm not looking forward to the tears and fears. But I know He walks with me. He wouldn't call me to do anything He didn't think was necessary for my good. Do I trust Him? He is the only one I do trust. Let's start the journey, God. I am willing to go wherever You lead.
See you tomorrow, friend. And remember, pray for me as I pray for my readers. God bless you!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Big Questions
How? Why? When? The big questions often lead me to near insanity! I want to know. I need to know. Where are we going, God? How are we going to get there? When are You going to do the thing You said You would do? I don't understand! It seems that more often than not my mind is filled with questions and answers come so slowly. How does one continue like this?
I believe God knows our tendency to allow the questions of life to run away with us. He knows we are contemplative beings. He knows we like security. He knows we each desire purpose and direction. But, God also knows that, if given too much information, we would run ahead of His plan and do things in our time, not His. At times in our lives this truth provides little consolation. It leaves us exasperated and wanting more. However, His answer to our deepest questions is often - "Be still and know that I am God." (Proverbs 46:10 NKJV) -"Stop worrying! Stop your useless striving!" He says. "I'm God. I've got it under control, and all will go according to my plan."
What? Be still?! I can't! I've got to figure out what You are doing, God!
"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."(Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV) - "I will fulfill my promises to you. I will use you as I have determined. But all must be done within the appointed time. Trust Me."
How, God? How do I trust when I am not sure. I am afraid that You will let me down.
"Trust in Me with all of your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding. Look to Me. I will make straight paths for you." (Paraphrased Proverbs 3:5-6) "They shall not be ashamed who wait for Me." (Isaiah 49:23 NKJV). "I will not let you down, child. You will not be disappointed."
I will wait, God, and I will trust You. But what should I do while I am in the process of waiting?
"Beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:17-18 NKJV). "Don't fall into faithlessness where you determine to do things your own way. Spend this time getting to know Me better. Understand My grace. You will need this as I move you according to the plan I have for your life. Don't neglect it."
If only I can remember and practice this. Perhaps I could relax and rest in my relationship with Him as I wait for Him to move me. My hope is that I will wait on Him as I get to know Him more intimately; that I will grow in my understanding of grace, and will extend that grace to others. I pray that I and you will be renewed in our strength as we wait on God.
Blessings friends. Be encouraged by God's word.
I believe God knows our tendency to allow the questions of life to run away with us. He knows we are contemplative beings. He knows we like security. He knows we each desire purpose and direction. But, God also knows that, if given too much information, we would run ahead of His plan and do things in our time, not His. At times in our lives this truth provides little consolation. It leaves us exasperated and wanting more. However, His answer to our deepest questions is often - "Be still and know that I am God." (Proverbs 46:10 NKJV) -"Stop worrying! Stop your useless striving!" He says. "I'm God. I've got it under control, and all will go according to my plan."
What? Be still?! I can't! I've got to figure out what You are doing, God!
"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."(Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV) - "I will fulfill my promises to you. I will use you as I have determined. But all must be done within the appointed time. Trust Me."
How, God? How do I trust when I am not sure. I am afraid that You will let me down.
"Trust in Me with all of your heart. Don't lean on your own understanding. Look to Me. I will make straight paths for you." (Paraphrased Proverbs 3:5-6) "They shall not be ashamed who wait for Me." (Isaiah 49:23 NKJV). "I will not let you down, child. You will not be disappointed."
I will wait, God, and I will trust You. But what should I do while I am in the process of waiting?
"Beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 3:17-18 NKJV). "Don't fall into faithlessness where you determine to do things your own way. Spend this time getting to know Me better. Understand My grace. You will need this as I move you according to the plan I have for your life. Don't neglect it."
If only I can remember and practice this. Perhaps I could relax and rest in my relationship with Him as I wait for Him to move me. My hope is that I will wait on Him as I get to know Him more intimately; that I will grow in my understanding of grace, and will extend that grace to others. I pray that I and you will be renewed in our strength as we wait on God.
Blessings friends. Be encouraged by God's word.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Wrestling With God
"So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man." Genesis 32:24-25
I recall her words to me as I walked out the door, "I feel like I am wrestling with God. I am so hurt, so angry."
"It's ok," I replied, "As long as you continue to wrestle with Him, you are working out your frustration with Him. We all wrestle with God at times." I was totally unaware of what God had planned for this wrestling match with my friend.
Weeks passed. One day I received a phone call. "Debbie is in jail." Those words broke my heart. Turns out Debbie had been picked up for manufacturing Crystal Meth. I couldn't believe it. I knew Debbie had a rough edge, but I never fathomed that she would put herself in such a dangerous position. Apparently I was wrong.
Letters arrived weekly from Debbie. In them she expressed anger and depression. She demanded someone come and bail her out of prison; but I could not. I believed God had her exactly where he wanted her and that if I intervened, I would simply get in the way of God's great work in her life. Several times letters arrived where she would blame me and others for her misery. She said we had abandoned her. She felt we were working against her. All I could do was pray that what God began with her arrest He would see to completion.
Two ladies visited the jail weekly and brought Christian literature. They taught the Bible and pray with any of the women who asked. Debbie began to attend the meetings due to boredom. She listened quietly as the women spoke of God's forgiveness and grace. Eventually she began to believe it. One afternoon Debbie asked one of the ladies for a Bible. Gladly the woman handed her a tattered, black leather book. Debbie returned to her room with great anticipation. Throughout the day she scoured the pages of that Bible to read about this God who loved her so much. She turned to Scriptures she had heard as a kid. A new understanding began to take hold. A hope she had never experienced swelled within her. Debbie met the God she had been wrestling with so long.
Today Debbie still sits in prison. She and several of her cell mates do a daily Bible study together. Debbie writes me to tell me the things God has shown her through their studies. She sits next to an accused murderer. Her letters tell me of how this lady has also grabbed hold of the faith.
I am filled with such joy and gratefulness toward my God. He has done the impossible. He has broken the heart of a hard and bitter woman. He has given her a new heart, one that is soft and pliable. As with Jacob, when we wrestle with God, we will experience pain; but, as He holds on to us and refuses to give up, we receive even greater grace.
I recall her words to me as I walked out the door, "I feel like I am wrestling with God. I am so hurt, so angry."
"It's ok," I replied, "As long as you continue to wrestle with Him, you are working out your frustration with Him. We all wrestle with God at times." I was totally unaware of what God had planned for this wrestling match with my friend.
Weeks passed. One day I received a phone call. "Debbie is in jail." Those words broke my heart. Turns out Debbie had been picked up for manufacturing Crystal Meth. I couldn't believe it. I knew Debbie had a rough edge, but I never fathomed that she would put herself in such a dangerous position. Apparently I was wrong.
Letters arrived weekly from Debbie. In them she expressed anger and depression. She demanded someone come and bail her out of prison; but I could not. I believed God had her exactly where he wanted her and that if I intervened, I would simply get in the way of God's great work in her life. Several times letters arrived where she would blame me and others for her misery. She said we had abandoned her. She felt we were working against her. All I could do was pray that what God began with her arrest He would see to completion.
Two ladies visited the jail weekly and brought Christian literature. They taught the Bible and pray with any of the women who asked. Debbie began to attend the meetings due to boredom. She listened quietly as the women spoke of God's forgiveness and grace. Eventually she began to believe it. One afternoon Debbie asked one of the ladies for a Bible. Gladly the woman handed her a tattered, black leather book. Debbie returned to her room with great anticipation. Throughout the day she scoured the pages of that Bible to read about this God who loved her so much. She turned to Scriptures she had heard as a kid. A new understanding began to take hold. A hope she had never experienced swelled within her. Debbie met the God she had been wrestling with so long.
Today Debbie still sits in prison. She and several of her cell mates do a daily Bible study together. Debbie writes me to tell me the things God has shown her through their studies. She sits next to an accused murderer. Her letters tell me of how this lady has also grabbed hold of the faith.
I am filled with such joy and gratefulness toward my God. He has done the impossible. He has broken the heart of a hard and bitter woman. He has given her a new heart, one that is soft and pliable. As with Jacob, when we wrestle with God, we will experience pain; but, as He holds on to us and refuses to give up, we receive even greater grace.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Trial
I search for you in darkest night. I strain to see Your face.
I cry for you, my precious God, for my heart slowly breaks.
I need to hear the voice of One who loves me perfectly.
And see the eyes of Him who knows the deepest parts of me.
But in the silence confusion grows, I know not what to do.
Fear begins to take control and I dread this time I'll lose.
I cannot see the hope of You who stands with me today.
And deep inside my great desire is to simply run away.
Questions just frustrate me more. I cannot understand!
It makes no sense; it is so hard; I do the best I can!
Hear me, God! Know my cry, come to me today!
I cannot walk this path alone. I need to know the way!
I wait for you. I know You'll come. You never forsake your child.
Each trial I bear, You draw near, and hold me just a while.
I listen hard. Now I can hear the footsteps of my King.
He is coming now, to walk with me. My heart begins to sing!
I cry for you, my precious God, for my heart slowly breaks.
I need to hear the voice of One who loves me perfectly.
And see the eyes of Him who knows the deepest parts of me.
But in the silence confusion grows, I know not what to do.
Fear begins to take control and I dread this time I'll lose.
I cannot see the hope of You who stands with me today.
And deep inside my great desire is to simply run away.
Questions just frustrate me more. I cannot understand!
It makes no sense; it is so hard; I do the best I can!
Hear me, God! Know my cry, come to me today!
I cannot walk this path alone. I need to know the way!
I wait for you. I know You'll come. You never forsake your child.
Each trial I bear, You draw near, and hold me just a while.
I listen hard. Now I can hear the footsteps of my King.
He is coming now, to walk with me. My heart begins to sing!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
One Life to Live
The night is finally beginning to quiet down, except for the one late night child who climbs from bed for his final glass of milk. Since the sun has hidden its face the Dent family has enjoyed bouts of laughter as we assembled in the bed to kiss Daddy good night. And there are a few of us have cried several tears. The Discovery Channel is playing on the television, and my mind is kneeding the many thoughts from the weekend with the emotions that have been awakened over the past several hours. Normally I write something that I think on for several days. Tonight, I am writing about the things that are in my heart and mind this verymoment. My hope is to emphasize the imperative and release the frivilous.
Life is so much more than what we realize or are willing to understand. It is much bigger than one man, one woman, or one issue. It is not the winning or losing of our wills. Nor is it the sum of what we make or how we think. Life is a journey of growth, pain, joy, and understanding. It goes beyond me, you, and the sum total of all mankind. Life is the realization of the Creator. If we miss this, we miss everything.
So often we are lulled by issues of little importance - "This offends me", "I don't like what I look like", "I believe all people should do it this way", "I am here only to please myself." We fail to see, to experience life as it really is - big, significant, beautiful, terrifying, and valuable. We work, we sweat, we strive and strain only to find in the end that all of it didn't matter anyway. The things we poured our lives into were only vapors that dissappeared as soon as we lifted away the hand of diligent yet weary manipulation.
Some don't see this until their life's timeline has come to its end. Others are fortunate enough to experience this reality early enough in life to change their beliefs and behaviors. Sadly, though, it seems to be very few. Reading the paper this evening I found it interesting to learn of how one woman writes Dear Abby to complain that an old man stops her in the grocery store to encourage her to smile while another couple is interviewed telling about how they have chosen to plant themselves in a neighborhood where they can reach out to meet the needs of others. One got it, the other didn't. One looked to herself and whispered, "It's all about me." The other looked to her Creator and shouted, "It's all about you!" One life will end and life will continue as it always had for those who knew her. The other life will one day end and the lives of others will be forever changed. One life is empty, the other is full and alive.
When we look inward, are we looking into ourselves or are we searching our souls for the direction God has for our lives? Are we interested only in what affects me, or in what will have the greatest affect on the lives of others? Are we wanting to pour out our frustration or to pour out our lives for the benefit of others? Who are we really, and where are our lives going?
Life is so much more than what we realize or are willing to understand. It is much bigger than one man, one woman, or one issue. It is not the winning or losing of our wills. Nor is it the sum of what we make or how we think. Life is a journey of growth, pain, joy, and understanding. It goes beyond me, you, and the sum total of all mankind. Life is the realization of the Creator. If we miss this, we miss everything.
So often we are lulled by issues of little importance - "This offends me", "I don't like what I look like", "I believe all people should do it this way", "I am here only to please myself." We fail to see, to experience life as it really is - big, significant, beautiful, terrifying, and valuable. We work, we sweat, we strive and strain only to find in the end that all of it didn't matter anyway. The things we poured our lives into were only vapors that dissappeared as soon as we lifted away the hand of diligent yet weary manipulation.
Some don't see this until their life's timeline has come to its end. Others are fortunate enough to experience this reality early enough in life to change their beliefs and behaviors. Sadly, though, it seems to be very few. Reading the paper this evening I found it interesting to learn of how one woman writes Dear Abby to complain that an old man stops her in the grocery store to encourage her to smile while another couple is interviewed telling about how they have chosen to plant themselves in a neighborhood where they can reach out to meet the needs of others. One got it, the other didn't. One looked to herself and whispered, "It's all about me." The other looked to her Creator and shouted, "It's all about you!" One life will end and life will continue as it always had for those who knew her. The other life will one day end and the lives of others will be forever changed. One life is empty, the other is full and alive.
When we look inward, are we looking into ourselves or are we searching our souls for the direction God has for our lives? Are we interested only in what affects me, or in what will have the greatest affect on the lives of others? Are we wanting to pour out our frustration or to pour out our lives for the benefit of others? Who are we really, and where are our lives going?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Lion's Prey
"Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8
This morning in Bible my kids and I studied some of the major aspects of love. As we touched on the truth that "love always protects," the writer warned us that Satan wanders about like a hungry lion searching for someone he can destroy. What does this have to do with the fact that love always protects? Everything. You see, we are all placed within two families. We have our natural family and our Christian family. As a member of these groups we have the dire instruction to love one another. In doing so we are given the command, inadvertantly as it may be, to protect one another. How and from what is God calling us to protect our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers? We are to protect each other from many things, but most importantly we are to protect one another from the enemy of our souls - Satan.
We begin by looking at the word picture given to us in 1 Peter 5:8. Satan is like a lion who is on the prowl. Having watched many Animal Planet specials a picture appears in my head of a herd of wildebeasts being stalked by a pride of lions. The wildebeasts are inpenetrable as long as the herd stays and works together to defend itself against the common enemy. The older animals push the younger of the herd to the center of their group so as to protect them. The lions cannot get to the babies without first coming against the older, more mature wildebeasts. Inevitably, though, there is one in the herd who tries to break away or is too slow to keep up with the others. Instantly the lions zero in on him, surround him, and take him down. He is helpless against his predator as he has no one to help defend him.
Families are much the same. We are here to protect and care for one another. Satan wants nothing more than to cause one of us to break from the "herd' (family or church) so that the one becomes vulnerable to his attacks. Sometimes the person goes out on his own out of his stubborness and desire to do things his way. Sometimes the person is wounded emotionally and breaks away as he tries to deal with the pain. And sometimes, sadly, the person is on his own because the family has pushed him away. Whatever the case, the individual is at the mercy of the enemy, and we are called to love him regardless of his mistakes, annoying character traits, or sinfulness. He is alone. He is vulnerable. And Satan is crouching as he prepares to go in for the kill.
How do we love this person? He may want nothing to do with us. He has pulled away. He may be angry and vengeful in his heart for perceived wrongdoing. Shouldn't we just shake the dust off our shoes and let him go? The answer is a resounding "NO." We try to reach out to the person in love. We seek to restore the person to the family. And if all that fails we continue to pray for him. We pray without ceasing, and we never give up. For love never fails.
Do you have someone in your family whether biological or in your Christian group that has pulled away? Are they out from under the protection of the Body? It doesn't matter who they are or what they've done, we have a responsibility to seek to protect them and bring them back into the fold. We cannot wash our hand of them and let them be taken down by our common enemy who has waited for this moment to devour them. We must go to war for them. We must fight for them by getting down on our knees and praying sincerely for them. The only way Satan wins is when we refuse to actively love one another.
This morning in Bible my kids and I studied some of the major aspects of love. As we touched on the truth that "love always protects," the writer warned us that Satan wanders about like a hungry lion searching for someone he can destroy. What does this have to do with the fact that love always protects? Everything. You see, we are all placed within two families. We have our natural family and our Christian family. As a member of these groups we have the dire instruction to love one another. In doing so we are given the command, inadvertantly as it may be, to protect one another. How and from what is God calling us to protect our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers? We are to protect each other from many things, but most importantly we are to protect one another from the enemy of our souls - Satan.
We begin by looking at the word picture given to us in 1 Peter 5:8. Satan is like a lion who is on the prowl. Having watched many Animal Planet specials a picture appears in my head of a herd of wildebeasts being stalked by a pride of lions. The wildebeasts are inpenetrable as long as the herd stays and works together to defend itself against the common enemy. The older animals push the younger of the herd to the center of their group so as to protect them. The lions cannot get to the babies without first coming against the older, more mature wildebeasts. Inevitably, though, there is one in the herd who tries to break away or is too slow to keep up with the others. Instantly the lions zero in on him, surround him, and take him down. He is helpless against his predator as he has no one to help defend him.
Families are much the same. We are here to protect and care for one another. Satan wants nothing more than to cause one of us to break from the "herd' (family or church) so that the one becomes vulnerable to his attacks. Sometimes the person goes out on his own out of his stubborness and desire to do things his way. Sometimes the person is wounded emotionally and breaks away as he tries to deal with the pain. And sometimes, sadly, the person is on his own because the family has pushed him away. Whatever the case, the individual is at the mercy of the enemy, and we are called to love him regardless of his mistakes, annoying character traits, or sinfulness. He is alone. He is vulnerable. And Satan is crouching as he prepares to go in for the kill.
How do we love this person? He may want nothing to do with us. He has pulled away. He may be angry and vengeful in his heart for perceived wrongdoing. Shouldn't we just shake the dust off our shoes and let him go? The answer is a resounding "NO." We try to reach out to the person in love. We seek to restore the person to the family. And if all that fails we continue to pray for him. We pray without ceasing, and we never give up. For love never fails.
Do you have someone in your family whether biological or in your Christian group that has pulled away? Are they out from under the protection of the Body? It doesn't matter who they are or what they've done, we have a responsibility to seek to protect them and bring them back into the fold. We cannot wash our hand of them and let them be taken down by our common enemy who has waited for this moment to devour them. We must go to war for them. We must fight for them by getting down on our knees and praying sincerely for them. The only way Satan wins is when we refuse to actively love one another.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Worry and Fear
"Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved." Psalm 62:1-2
Last year in February my husband had a heart attack. I believe it is only by God's grace that he is alive today, and I am very thankful for this. However, as the anniversary of his heart attack has rolled around, and as he is scheduled for another heart catheterization in two weeks I find myself fearful that the doctor is going to find something else wrong with his heart.
This year of our marriage has been very different from the previous seventeen years. Having come so close to losing my husband, I have come to view him and our relationship in a new light. He has also changed in that he is more aware of my needs and the needs of the children. While our marriage is not perfect, it is the kind of relationship I have yearned for from childhood. Over the past twelve months I have found security and hope in our relationship. I am understanding God's desire for His children in their marriage relationships and it is good.
What is not good is this fear and worry I have been battling over the past few weeks. I am afraid now of losing the man I have learned to love. For years I guarded my heart so as not to feel great pain if something happened to my him. My father left my mom after twenty years of marriage, and Terry's dad died of a massive heart attack at the young age of thirty-six. I felt sure that in one way or another it was inevitable that my husband would leave me as well. So I guarded my heart so as not to become too dependent on this man. I erected some walls so as not to be too emotionally tied to him. I didn't want to hurt badly when he either walked out on me or died. But as he lay in the emergency room one year ago I realized how much I needed him. I understood that my heart was bound to him. Try as I may, I could not avoid the pain of his leaving. So I determined to love him with all my heart. No longer keeping him at arms length, I opened my heart and gave him all of me.
Yet today I find myself with tears in my eyes fearing that he will not be with me much longer. My mind runs away with thoughts and questions - Will a phone call come bearing the news of his passing? How will I handle it? How will I raise our five children as a single mother? Who is going to protect this family? Terry has such a level head and I often seek his wisdom when making decisions. Who would I turn to if I didn't have him? Who will listen to me when I have something to share? Who will be with me when the children have grown up and gone?
And suddenly I find myself greatly moved. Worry fills my head as fear consumes my heart. Yet God says, "Do not fear." God reminds me that He is here. His truth stands firm no matter what I am struggling through. I am not alone for He has promised never to "leave me nor forsake me." I need to remind myself of these truths so I can rest in His peace. God's truth brings peace.
Is something causing you to be greatly moved today? Are you full of worry and fear? Is there a situation that you are fretting over in which you have no control? God wants you and I to trust Him and refuse to worry. As His children we are in His care. He is our Rock and our Salvation. He is our defense. We can believe Him.
So tonight I will focus on reminding myself of the very truths I seem to have forgotten. I will refuse to dwell on thoughts born out of fear. I encourage you to do the same. Together we can experience the "peace that passes understanding" as we stand firm on the promises and character of our loving Father.
Last year in February my husband had a heart attack. I believe it is only by God's grace that he is alive today, and I am very thankful for this. However, as the anniversary of his heart attack has rolled around, and as he is scheduled for another heart catheterization in two weeks I find myself fearful that the doctor is going to find something else wrong with his heart.
This year of our marriage has been very different from the previous seventeen years. Having come so close to losing my husband, I have come to view him and our relationship in a new light. He has also changed in that he is more aware of my needs and the needs of the children. While our marriage is not perfect, it is the kind of relationship I have yearned for from childhood. Over the past twelve months I have found security and hope in our relationship. I am understanding God's desire for His children in their marriage relationships and it is good.
What is not good is this fear and worry I have been battling over the past few weeks. I am afraid now of losing the man I have learned to love. For years I guarded my heart so as not to feel great pain if something happened to my him. My father left my mom after twenty years of marriage, and Terry's dad died of a massive heart attack at the young age of thirty-six. I felt sure that in one way or another it was inevitable that my husband would leave me as well. So I guarded my heart so as not to become too dependent on this man. I erected some walls so as not to be too emotionally tied to him. I didn't want to hurt badly when he either walked out on me or died. But as he lay in the emergency room one year ago I realized how much I needed him. I understood that my heart was bound to him. Try as I may, I could not avoid the pain of his leaving. So I determined to love him with all my heart. No longer keeping him at arms length, I opened my heart and gave him all of me.
Yet today I find myself with tears in my eyes fearing that he will not be with me much longer. My mind runs away with thoughts and questions - Will a phone call come bearing the news of his passing? How will I handle it? How will I raise our five children as a single mother? Who is going to protect this family? Terry has such a level head and I often seek his wisdom when making decisions. Who would I turn to if I didn't have him? Who will listen to me when I have something to share? Who will be with me when the children have grown up and gone?
And suddenly I find myself greatly moved. Worry fills my head as fear consumes my heart. Yet God says, "Do not fear." God reminds me that He is here. His truth stands firm no matter what I am struggling through. I am not alone for He has promised never to "leave me nor forsake me." I need to remind myself of these truths so I can rest in His peace. God's truth brings peace.
Is something causing you to be greatly moved today? Are you full of worry and fear? Is there a situation that you are fretting over in which you have no control? God wants you and I to trust Him and refuse to worry. As His children we are in His care. He is our Rock and our Salvation. He is our defense. We can believe Him.
So tonight I will focus on reminding myself of the very truths I seem to have forgotten. I will refuse to dwell on thoughts born out of fear. I encourage you to do the same. Together we can experience the "peace that passes understanding" as we stand firm on the promises and character of our loving Father.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Blessing Our Children
Two parents; two scenarios. Two children affected by the words of those parents. To one child life is breathed into his spirit as his father claims, "Son, you have such talent in this. I know God will use it throughout your life." The other child dies a little as his father exclaims, "Son, can't you do this right? Any idiot could figure it out!" Two lives molded by the words of their fathers. One encouraged to blossom and become all God created him to be. The other stifled and trampled, left to question his worth.
We can do so much as parents to try to ensure the success of our children - dance classes, private schools, church attendance, tutors, summer camps, etc. However, whatever attempts we make will be nullified if our words are harsh and demeaning towards those children. Proverbs 18:21 warns us that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." With our words we either pass on wisdom and value to our kids, or we pass down a feeling of worthlessness and anger. Many call positive words spoken to and over our children a 'blessing' and negative words spoken a 'curse'.
One of our deepest desires as human beings is to have others recognize and admit our worth. No one wants to feel that his life has no meaning or value. Yet some children, even some adults, accept the lie that they are useless because they have not had the privilege of experiencing someone blessing them with their words. Children in particular are very vulnerable to the lack of blessing over their young lives. So many are trapped with feelings of anger, resentment, and depression because they were not verbally blessed by their parents. Instead, they were ridiculed and demeaned.
Blessing children was so vitally important in the New Testament times that several parents brought their children before the Lord Jesus Christ and asked Him to bless them. Jesus knew the impact His touch and words would have on those kids. So, He stopped what He was doing, laid His hands on the children, and spoke blessings over them. The word 'blessed' used to describe this scene means 'to speak well of.' Jesus spoke well of the children who were brought to Him.
Our children long to hear us speak well of them. They yearn for it. If we were honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that one of our deepest longings is to know our own parents believe in us. Do not withhold blessings from you children. Bless them often. Do not make them work to receive your blessing. They have something you can praise them for. Today is the day to take hold of your child, look him/her in the eye, and bless them for who they are and what God is molding them to be. Your child will thank you for it.
We can do so much as parents to try to ensure the success of our children - dance classes, private schools, church attendance, tutors, summer camps, etc. However, whatever attempts we make will be nullified if our words are harsh and demeaning towards those children. Proverbs 18:21 warns us that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." With our words we either pass on wisdom and value to our kids, or we pass down a feeling of worthlessness and anger. Many call positive words spoken to and over our children a 'blessing' and negative words spoken a 'curse'.
One of our deepest desires as human beings is to have others recognize and admit our worth. No one wants to feel that his life has no meaning or value. Yet some children, even some adults, accept the lie that they are useless because they have not had the privilege of experiencing someone blessing them with their words. Children in particular are very vulnerable to the lack of blessing over their young lives. So many are trapped with feelings of anger, resentment, and depression because they were not verbally blessed by their parents. Instead, they were ridiculed and demeaned.
Blessing children was so vitally important in the New Testament times that several parents brought their children before the Lord Jesus Christ and asked Him to bless them. Jesus knew the impact His touch and words would have on those kids. So, He stopped what He was doing, laid His hands on the children, and spoke blessings over them. The word 'blessed' used to describe this scene means 'to speak well of.' Jesus spoke well of the children who were brought to Him.
Our children long to hear us speak well of them. They yearn for it. If we were honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that one of our deepest longings is to know our own parents believe in us. Do not withhold blessings from you children. Bless them often. Do not make them work to receive your blessing. They have something you can praise them for. Today is the day to take hold of your child, look him/her in the eye, and bless them for who they are and what God is molding them to be. Your child will thank you for it.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Forgiveness
Today's blog is dedicated to my friend Sharmen, not because she can't forgive or needs forgiveness, but because she is faithful to ride my tail to write. Thanks Sharmen!
We all want freedom. Turn on the news any given day and you will hear people talk about liberty, rights, and freedom. Many are oppressed from the outside - people with little to no rights who are smothered by their own government and rulers. Then there are some who are oppressed from the inside - people like you and me who, because we harbor sin, do not experience the freedom Christ came to establish for His people.
Over the past few years I have been finding more and more freedom in Christ. In fact, I have a stratigically placed picture to remind me of my freedom. It is a dove who is taking flight as the chains on her feet are broken and falling off. I love this picture, for it beautifully represents what Christ came to do for me and for you. Our freedom was bought with Christ's one time sacrifice, but our realization to walk in it is a daily process; a process that takes time and maturity.
I have come to understand that one of the strongest chains of bondage is our unwillingness to forgive. Nothing causes more unnecessary pain. Nothing rips at a heart more fiercely. Nothing holds us in a tighter grip than unforgiveness. Scripture tells us in Colossians 3:12-13, "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must do."
We all need forgiveness, and we all need to forgive. We don't just forgive the little things, we forgive the big things. We shouldn't simply forgive to a point, we should forgive all the time - seventy times seven. With this forgiveness comes the renewing of the spirit. We gain strength and joy. We realize hope and grace. We break free and fly!
I have come to realize that I have harbored much unforgiveness, reciting in my head words that have hurt and behaviors that have crushed my spirit. Each time I relive those experiences, I strengthen the chains that bind me. I remind myself that some people do not accept me and look down on me. Like a tape recorder playing over and over in my head I hear words that cut, I see situations that destroy my self value. I relive the pain over and over. I refuse to live like this any more. I want to be free to live out all that God has for me. I will no longer allow myself to be held in the bondage of unforgiveness. Yes, I have the choice. I can walk free, or remain entangled.
Today and every day I plan to forgive. No longer will I harbor unforgiveness. I refuse. I choose forgiveness. I no longer feel the need to hold someone accountable for what they have done to me. God is just, He can do that. I wasn't created to carry that burden. I no longer want it. Even now I can feel the chains breaking. I can feel my wings begin to stretch. Yes, I'm taking flight! I am not bound any longer by my unforgiveness. I am only bound by God's grace. Yes, this is where I want to be. This is where I was created to be.
So, are you burdened and heavy hearted? Perhaps there is someone you need to forgive. Perhaps you are living in past hurts. Who are you allowing to hold you in chains because you are angry and hurt? Can you forgive them? Remember, no pain has been caused us greater than the pain our sin has caused our God. He has forgiven us. He even loves and chooses us. Can we forgive knowing that in doing so we are exhibiting the beauty of our Savior? I believe so for at no time do we look more like Him than when we forgive.
We all want freedom. Turn on the news any given day and you will hear people talk about liberty, rights, and freedom. Many are oppressed from the outside - people with little to no rights who are smothered by their own government and rulers. Then there are some who are oppressed from the inside - people like you and me who, because we harbor sin, do not experience the freedom Christ came to establish for His people.
Over the past few years I have been finding more and more freedom in Christ. In fact, I have a stratigically placed picture to remind me of my freedom. It is a dove who is taking flight as the chains on her feet are broken and falling off. I love this picture, for it beautifully represents what Christ came to do for me and for you. Our freedom was bought with Christ's one time sacrifice, but our realization to walk in it is a daily process; a process that takes time and maturity.
I have come to understand that one of the strongest chains of bondage is our unwillingness to forgive. Nothing causes more unnecessary pain. Nothing rips at a heart more fiercely. Nothing holds us in a tighter grip than unforgiveness. Scripture tells us in Colossians 3:12-13, "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must do."
We all need forgiveness, and we all need to forgive. We don't just forgive the little things, we forgive the big things. We shouldn't simply forgive to a point, we should forgive all the time - seventy times seven. With this forgiveness comes the renewing of the spirit. We gain strength and joy. We realize hope and grace. We break free and fly!
I have come to realize that I have harbored much unforgiveness, reciting in my head words that have hurt and behaviors that have crushed my spirit. Each time I relive those experiences, I strengthen the chains that bind me. I remind myself that some people do not accept me and look down on me. Like a tape recorder playing over and over in my head I hear words that cut, I see situations that destroy my self value. I relive the pain over and over. I refuse to live like this any more. I want to be free to live out all that God has for me. I will no longer allow myself to be held in the bondage of unforgiveness. Yes, I have the choice. I can walk free, or remain entangled.
Today and every day I plan to forgive. No longer will I harbor unforgiveness. I refuse. I choose forgiveness. I no longer feel the need to hold someone accountable for what they have done to me. God is just, He can do that. I wasn't created to carry that burden. I no longer want it. Even now I can feel the chains breaking. I can feel my wings begin to stretch. Yes, I'm taking flight! I am not bound any longer by my unforgiveness. I am only bound by God's grace. Yes, this is where I want to be. This is where I was created to be.
So, are you burdened and heavy hearted? Perhaps there is someone you need to forgive. Perhaps you are living in past hurts. Who are you allowing to hold you in chains because you are angry and hurt? Can you forgive them? Remember, no pain has been caused us greater than the pain our sin has caused our God. He has forgiven us. He even loves and chooses us. Can we forgive knowing that in doing so we are exhibiting the beauty of our Savior? I believe so for at no time do we look more like Him than when we forgive.
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