In my last blog I wrote about the Christ life being a process. Some days we will be victorious in our attempts to live as God calls us to live. Other days, we will fail miserably. I have been reading John Ortberg's book "Love Beyond Reason". Its message has meant so much to this believer for I need to know the extent of God's love for me personally. And something tells me that you do too.

Last night was rough. I messed up. I wasn't patient, kind, or gentle. In fact, none of the fruit of the Spirit was evident in me for a few ugly minutes. After my "fit", I felt bad. I mean really bad. What Christian woman yells at her children and husband? Feeling defeated I questioned, "God, how can you use me? I always mess up." The answer came sweetly and gently through this book I have been reading. Allow me to paraphrase His answer:

God deals with our failure much differently than we deal with the failures of one another. God is waiting and ready to forgive. He wants to bring restoration and healing. Scripture gives us a tangible example through the life and words of the disciple, Peter. I am sure as you read this you will grow to love him for he represents us so perfectly.

Peter loved the Lord. There is no doubt about it. Peter left everything to follow Jesus. He climbed from the boat to meet Jesus on the water. He even died a martyrs death for the cause of Christ. However, Peter messed up quite a bit. Scripture only gives us five examples of Peter's lack of mouth-control and self-control. (I am sure, though, that Peter messed up more than what Scripture records.)

On a dark night, during a serious rain storm, Peter was the only disciple to climb out of the small boat to meet our Savior on the water. We can commend him for that. However, Peter couldn't keep his gaze on the Lord and began to fear the storm around him. He began to sink into the water. He failed to fully trust Jesus. When Christ struggled to explain His path of going to the cross, Peter pulled Jesus aside and rebuked Him. Jesus turned and scolded Peter for speaking what Satan would have him say. How embarassed he must have been. While praying in the garden, Jesus asked Peter and two other disciples to stay awake and pray. Frustratingly, Peter and his friends fell asleep. Jesus was hurt. Peter failed to be there for his friend. When the mob came to arrest Jesus, Peter was the one who ran to His defense. Grabbing a sword, Peter sliced the ear of a soldier right off his head! Jesus gently rebuked him. I'm sure Peter felt pretty dumb. Finally, Peter's most memorable failure is when he denied his very Savior the night of Christ's arrest. Not once, not twice, but three times Peter vehemently denied knowing Jesus at all! Peter let fear get the best of him and had to eat the words he had spoken earlier - "I will lay down my life for Your sake." (NKJ John 13:37)

I can imagine that, after denying Christ, Peter came to a point where he determined God could not possibly use him. After all, he proved himself to be a proud, boastful, impulsive and cowardly man. However, after His resurrection, Jesus sought Peter out. Jesus called to Peter again. Jesus wanted Peter to continue to follow Him. Why? Because God has way too much invested in each of us to let us go. He has invested His heart. He has given us so many blessings. Finally, God has given us His Son. He has invested the whole of who He is in us. He's not going to give up on us that easily. No, each time we recognize that we have failed Him, God knows we are growing and learning. Yes, each time we are broken because of our sin, God knows we are of better use to Him. We become of more worth to Him as we realize how we have failed Him.

We know the end of the story. Peter went on to be one of the greatest witnesses for Christ. He preached and thousands came to know the Savior. We, too, can have a good ending to our lives as well. When we are willing to admit our short comings, when we determine not to give up on ourselves (for God hasn't given up on us), God can write a beautiful second half to our lives. God has invested Himself in you. You are of great use to Him. Don't give up!