Life's Questions

I wish I was one of those people who always sees things in a positive light, who knows without a doubt that everything will turn out fine. But I'm not. I hurt. I fear. I do downright stupid things. I get angry. I feel weak. I feel dumb. I struggle in this walk with my Lord. I don't understand God. His ways, quite often, don't make sense to me. Why did I loose my unborn child? Why do I struggle with depression? Where is that certain blessing promised in Scripture?

My mind questions. My heart cries out for answers. And the Lord replies, "I am."

I don't know why there is pain in certain situations. I don't know why God, at times, seems so quiet when I am desperate to hear His voice. I can't comprehend how He can stand back and allow evil to occur. The frustration of unanswered questions can become overwhelming. Such uncertainty can even lead us to become hard, cynical, and isolated. But every Christian (and nonbelievers as well) wrestles with such thoughts. Deep within, if we are honest with ourselves and God, we wonder 'why' in so many circumstances. What are we to do with these uncertainties?

Jesus doesn't call us to find all the answers. He invites us to know the Answer. He understands that we cannot comprehend His ways, but we can know the Way. When we question, He replies, "I am." "Know Me," he pleads. "Come to Me," He calls. Knowing His character, His nature would allow us to rest in the uncertainties of life. God is good. God is love. God is compassion and hope. When we know the source of such beauty, the grotesque truths of this fallen world pale in comparison. We can believe He is true to Himself. He will make right all evil and pain. He will bring to account all who have preyed upon the weak. He holds the unborn children mothers have lost to abortion and miscarriage. He hears every cry of the hurting and oppressed. He will make pure those who have been used and mistreated. He is a God of restoration and justice. He will, before all is said and done, make right all that is now wrong.

I don't know the answers to many of my questions. However, knowing that God holds me in the palm of His hand gives me grace to rest and not fear in this life. I may feel like I am holding on to my Savior with the last bit of strength I can muster, but in reality, it is His strong hand that is holding me. And in light of such truth my questions can wait to be answered.